Thursday, June 2, 2016

Don't Murder Your Boss: How to Cope With Leaving Your Job

"Project Doorman" is the day OT officially and ever-so-gracefully walks out the door of the conventional workforce and embarks on a journey of living to ¡Olvídalo!"


      Those words sat under my countdown widget. They also sat in my mind for weeks. I imagined several exit scenarios. Do I just leave quietly, dust my feet off and never look back? Do I smile and make much ado about how I'll miss everyone while tearing up and acting like the past year wasn't hell? Do I pull a Jerry Maguire and mic drop while everyone says good riddance?

                                            

     The surprising thing is some time after I gave my three month notice the world became a bit of a happier place. The weight just slid off of me and I could do my job with more joy (or maybe the bosses were easier on me). I didn't try any less but the fact that no matter what I did it wouldn't be good enough didn't even matter, anymore. 

Dropped a sherry glass? 

These things happen. 

Housekeeper called out and I have to clean a bunch of rooms? 

Whatever.

A guest wants to cancel a room the day before and I have to tell them we'll be charging them the full price of the room for cancelling, even if it's because their child got pneumonia?

It's all good.

Boss e-mail blasts the other innkeepers using me as an example of what NOT to do?

Annoying but fine. 

 I stopped freaking out. I stopped crying in an empty guest room for fear that I would have a myriad of notes about everything I did wrong the day before. I just didn't care. I tried my hardest; wiped my feet of it; told everyone I'd think of them and then mic dropped (more accurately I mic dropped the Day Book in front of the other innkeepers and received and ovation) and walked out like nothing ever happened. After months of thinking I would Jerry Maguire all over the place I somehow managed to keep my head. 

Granted it took a LOT of prayer. God had to help me because seriously I was way beyond helping myself.

Here's my advice when you are on that final stressful few months before you begin your Olvidalo life:

1. Don't Freak Out. I know it's easier said than done. I get it. You hate your job. You hate your coworkers. You hate your boss. You hate your commute. You hate EVERYTHING. But there is likely a reason you are waiting a year or a few months. I bet you it's money. You can't make money if you are cursing out your coworker. If you get fired, you'll have to find another job, start all over and wait even LONGER. But if you don't freak out, in a year's time or a few months or weeks time you will be walking out of that door and starting a life lived by your own rules. When your brain wants to explode just think of that. That douchebag will be still be there and you will be on the beach sipping rum. Or in a 3rd world country helping children get a better life. Or building a church where talk of Jesus is banned. Or bouldering in Yellowstone. That's when you smile at the douchebag in front of you and call it a day.

2. Don't Burn Your Bridges.Yes you could call everyone the names they probably deserve to be called on the last day and give your boss a thirty page thesis on how to run his or her business. But don't. The world will spin on without you and you will be out the door spinning some more. It isn't your problem anymore. Besides, you may hate this job now but you may enjoy it freelance or part time. When you become a professional traveler you will need money. Wouldn't it be nice to do something you are already qualified to do without the whole job search BS? I personally go back to a lot of the jobs. I took a break from writing and became a freelancer. I took a break from baking but I still go back to the bakeries I've worked for to throw some dough every once in a while (bakeries are always understaffed). I even told the owners of the last place to give me a call if someone calls out.

3. Don't Self Destruct. I got into a very bad habit of stress eating at this job. I've gained 15 pounds. Use coping mechanisms that will only result in positivity. Pray, knit, sing...whatever. If you find yourself eating five bags of chips every day or drinking excessively and saying "it's only until I quit", it's a bad habit.

4. Take A Break. I was so mentally drained from focusing on not going nuts at work I had no energy for anyone else. I was EXTREMELY irritable and I dumped it everywhere. Consequently, I took a break from my social life and all social media for a couple of weeks. I'm very glad  I did.

5. Put In Your Notice At The Right Time. Your boss is human. They have emotions. They can be petty or grateful. Ask yourself the hard questions and be realistic. Is it hard to replace you? Will your boss be grateful if you give them time to replace you or will they make your life a living hell to get you to leave faster? If you tell your boss far in advance, will they cut your hours for the next few weeks or months? The answer to these questions coincide with number 2. The point is to leave your boss as content (content because they will never be fully happy) as they will ever be in case you need to come back. It should go without saying to never give less than two weeks notice. At that point not only will your boss be mad at you. Your coworkers will be pissed that they have to pick up your slack. Even the ones you think are your friends.

6. Make Your Last Two Weeks Amazing. Here's a fun fact. Unless you were a genuinely horrible employee, your boss will mostly remember the good stuff about you. Trust me. It's scientific. That previous employee everyone was happy to see or the one your boss compared you to wasn't as great as they made them out to be. So work your hardest the last two weeks. Put on a smile and that's what they will remember.  

So before you blow a gasket and recreate Jerry Maguire or Bad Days by Flaming Lips, remember these things. And if you can't remember that then at least remember murder is a crime punishable by death or jail. ^_^


-O.T.

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