My First Overnight Festival: Cosmic Reunion

I've been to a few concerts and back. I've even accidentally snuck into a music festival on it's last day. It really was an accident though...really.

Despite all of that, I have never camped at a festival. Bonnaroo has always been on my wish list but for some reason I never have an extra $400 to spend at the beginning of the summer...weird.

Cosmic Reunion (or hippiefest as I and many others have so lovingly named it) is a music/ art/ craft festival a little ways outside of St. Louis, MO in the quiet town of French Village in the even quieter crevasse of Astral Valley. A friend told me about it back in April and I figured for a measly $65 for four days and no vendor's fees, I couldn't go wrong.

Vocalist: "There goes the naked man again."

At first glance, the festival seemed pretty understaffed but it didn't matter. Within the first thousand feet of the entrance, my eyes feasted upon art installations anywhere from a few inches to fifty feet tall. Vivid colors scattered across the open meadow in front of the half rickety looking, half uber high tech stage. Crafters, masseuses, wild mushroom hustlers and other vendors were packed to the brim (my spot saved, of course) along the dirt road everyone called "shakedown street". Despite the lack of clear guidelines outside of a very general map, everyone somehow figured out exactly where to park camp and exist without getting in each other's way. The setup was pretty perfect.

"This thing seems a bit unstable."
"Eh, it's fine."

"Your bike is awesome."
"Thanks! It glows in the dark."

Cosmic Reunion changed me in many ways. Coming from where most people either blindly mind their businesses or are all up in everyone's businesses for the most superficial of reasons, it was wonderful to see the amount of sharing, bartering and community going on. While selling my bags, my jewelry-making neighbors, Kim and Jake passed around rum. After a nice conversation with the bag lady next to me, she handed me fresh hot pancakes. On the last day, a man complimented one of my bags so I gave him a tote. In return, he gave me a beautiful piece of blown glass. After that, I traded a couple of more bags for tie-dye overalls and priceless cheap fabric-finding information. Those without much money were always willing to trade and people were mostly happy to agree.

Not only was there an active trading community; there was a surplus of creativity. Everyone, seemed to have something creative to contribute, even if they didn't bring an installation. On my first day, there were but a few rock sculptures along the river. By the last night you couldn't walk a few feet without seeing even the smallest of rock sculptures. Even kids got to paint and draw on a few installations. Between the amount of creativity and the people who were giving out "free hugs" I thought I could stay in that atmosphere forever.

The festival changed me. It reassured me that there are still many people in this world who are 100% willing to live outside of an oligarchical system that focuses on helping oneself.  Here everyone put away predisposed prejudice and paranoia  to help one another out. Even the artists forsook credit for their art. Who built that giant intricate 50 foot bird's nest? I have no idea.

While the festival played a big part in my changing my perspective, the preparation played a big part in my confidence. About a month or so before Cosmic Reunion I had stumbled upon about 50 or so free burlap coffee bags from a local KC coffee place (thanks Craigslist!) so I bought a sewing machine and gathered all of my acquired fabric, went at it and made whatever I thought would sell.

Mentally, I'm extremely self destructive so while I was going through the learning curve of making bags, my usual self explained -quite loudly and in detail- to my self esteem why this was a horrible idea and a waste of time and how I won't be able to enjoy the festival and it would lead to nothing. I actually cried a little. I'm pretty hard on myself. But this time around I just pushed on and kept telling myself that I could do it. And guess what?! I did it! I finished up with a reasonable amount of product, sold most of it and I got to enjoy the festival.

 So now here I am, a couple of weeks later. Bug bites healing. Van all cleaned out. Preparing more burlap to be turned into bags. Googling how to do fire poi.  The tingle of Cosmic Reunion has finally worn off. It's another day. But thanks to the festival, I'm another me.


-T.

Don't Murder Your Boss: How to Cope With Leaving Your Job

"Project Doorman" is the day OT officially and ever-so-gracefully walks out the door of the conventional workforce and embarks on a journey of living to ¡Olvídalo!"


      Those words sat under my countdown widget. They also sat in my mind for weeks. I imagined several exit scenarios. Do I just leave quietly, dust my feet off and never look back? Do I smile and make much ado about how I'll miss everyone while tearing up and acting like the past year wasn't hell? Do I pull a Jerry Maguire and mic drop while everyone says good riddance?

                                            

     The surprising thing is some time after I gave my three month notice the world became a bit of a happier place. The weight just slid off of me and I could do my job with more joy (or maybe the bosses were easier on me). I didn't try any less but the fact that no matter what I did it wouldn't be good enough didn't even matter, anymore. 

Dropped a sherry glass? 

These things happen. 

Housekeeper called out and I have to clean a bunch of rooms? 

Whatever.

A guest wants to cancel a room the day before and I have to tell them we'll be charging them the full price of the room for cancelling, even if it's because their child got pneumonia?

It's all good.

Boss e-mail blasts the other innkeepers using me as an example of what NOT to do?

Annoying but fine. 

 I stopped freaking out. I stopped crying in an empty guest room for fear that I would have a myriad of notes about everything I did wrong the day before. I just didn't care. I tried my hardest; wiped my feet of it; told everyone I'd think of them and then mic dropped (more accurately I mic dropped the Day Book in front of the other innkeepers and received and ovation) and walked out like nothing ever happened. After months of thinking I would Jerry Maguire all over the place I somehow managed to keep my head. 

Granted it took a LOT of prayer. God had to help me because seriously I was way beyond helping myself.

Here's my advice when you are on that final stressful few months before you begin your Olvidalo life:

1. Don't Freak Out. I know it's easier said than done. I get it. You hate your job. You hate your coworkers. You hate your boss. You hate your commute. You hate EVERYTHING. But there is likely a reason you are waiting a year or a few months. I bet you it's money. You can't make money if you are cursing out your coworker. If you get fired, you'll have to find another job, start all over and wait even LONGER. But if you don't freak out, in a year's time or a few months or weeks time you will be walking out of that door and starting a life lived by your own rules. When your brain wants to explode just think of that. That douchebag will be still be there and you will be on the beach sipping rum. Or in a 3rd world country helping children get a better life. Or building a church where talk of Jesus is banned. Or bouldering in Yellowstone. That's when you smile at the douchebag in front of you and call it a day.

2. Don't Burn Your Bridges.Yes you could call everyone the names they probably deserve to be called on the last day and give your boss a thirty page thesis on how to run his or her business. But don't. The world will spin on without you and you will be out the door spinning some more. It isn't your problem anymore. Besides, you may hate this job now but you may enjoy it freelance or part time. When you become a professional traveler you will need money. Wouldn't it be nice to do something you are already qualified to do without the whole job search BS? I personally go back to a lot of the jobs. I took a break from writing and became a freelancer. I took a break from baking but I still go back to the bakeries I've worked for to throw some dough every once in a while (bakeries are always understaffed). I even told the owners of the last place to give me a call if someone calls out.

3. Don't Self Destruct. I got into a very bad habit of stress eating at this job. I've gained 15 pounds. Use coping mechanisms that will only result in positivity. Pray, knit, sing...whatever. If you find yourself eating five bags of chips every day or drinking excessively and saying "it's only until I quit", it's a bad habit.

4. Take A Break. I was so mentally drained from focusing on not going nuts at work I had no energy for anyone else. I was EXTREMELY irritable and I dumped it everywhere. Consequently, I took a break from my social life and all social media for a couple of weeks. I'm very glad  I did.

5. Put In Your Notice At The Right Time. Your boss is human. They have emotions. They can be petty or grateful. Ask yourself the hard questions and be realistic. Is it hard to replace you? Will your boss be grateful if you give them time to replace you or will they make your life a living hell to get you to leave faster? If you tell your boss far in advance, will they cut your hours for the next few weeks or months? The answer to these questions coincide with number 2. The point is to leave your boss as content (content because they will never be fully happy) as they will ever be in case you need to come back. It should go without saying to never give less than two weeks notice. At that point not only will your boss be mad at you. Your coworkers will be pissed that they have to pick up your slack. Even the ones you think are your friends.

6. Make Your Last Two Weeks Amazing. Here's a fun fact. Unless you were a genuinely horrible employee, your boss will mostly remember the good stuff about you. Trust me. It's scientific. That previous employee everyone was happy to see or the one your boss compared you to wasn't as great as they made them out to be. So work your hardest the last two weeks. Put on a smile and that's what they will remember.  

So before you blow a gasket and recreate Jerry Maguire or Bad Days by Flaming Lips, remember these things. And if you can't remember that then at least remember murder is a crime punishable by death or jail. ^_^


-O.T.

Advice for Selling Your Possessions

The Dusted Attic, KCMO

Stuff, stuff, stuff. We have so much of it and not much use for it. But I will say that stuff isn't all evil. One advantage I find in having stuff is that you can make money off of it. It has actually become my favorite part of having stuff. I move a lot so I tend to pack light, but there's some comfort in the fact that my stuff can help me travel more. I mean who couldn't use an extra chunk of change while traveling?

Right now I'm in the process of selling my stuff. I've done it before but this time I decided to ask a professional for advice. I already know a lot of the usual methods for selling but I wanted to properly assess the pros and cons of each method.

With a business degree and five years of experience under his belt, Chris P. runs a successful online business and consigns for a popular auction business. Don't ask me what he sells. Even I can't figure it out. It's all quite random. I walk through his large warehouse space and consistently think to myself, "people pay money for that?!" The funny thing is the answer is yes. My theory is if this guy can make a business out of selling random stuff he's probably the person I need to go to.

Ebay and Amazon

Some towns have markets that feature a collection of local vendors.

These sites are very well known and are good sites for selling individual items. Ideally, I would sell relatively light-weight "big ticket" items like electronics and accessories. While it is ideal for selling a bunch of smaller items, always keep in mind how much money you may be spending on shipping. It may sound nice to use free shipping as a method to add value to your product but it is very easy to rack up shipping costs. In addition to shipping costs, according to Chris P., Ebay and Amazon take about 15% of everything. You have to have a bank account and be verified which usually takes a week or two. If it's a new selling account they limit you to 10 items or $1000 in your first month and then it's performance-based, every month. During the verification process, if you happen to make a sale they hold your funds for up to three weeks but after you are approved, its immediate. Amazon has unlimited selling for starters and they pay you about every two weeks. Either way, you'll have to wait for verification so if you are leaving in a week, it may be a better to sell your possessions through alternative means.

Craigslist

Do you have a few big things you want to sell but don't want to pay for shipping? This is your ideal spot for items like furniture, TV's, bikes and the like. Unfortunately, with Craigslist you don't know who you are dealing with. If someone is coming over to pick up your stuff, it may be ideal to have a friend or two with you. If someone  requests that you ship something be extremely wary. Especially, if they ask to ship it to another country. I wouldn't even bother.

The first time I ever sold something on Craigslist I was scammed (go figure). I followed all the rules (I used Paypal and everything!) but they got me because instead of checking my actual Paypal account (it was my first time using Paypal, as well) I got an e-mail saying that the money was deposited into my Paypal account.Turns out it was a phishing e-mail (fake e-mail sent by the scammer). So as far as I know, my laptop is in Africa somewhere. If you are going to ship, I'd go through Ebay. They have actual customer service and guarantees that can protect you from such situations.

 Are you a horrible haggler and pushover, like me? Chris offers advice: "People buying on craigslist will always ask you to lower your price so be firm with what you need out of them."

Garage Sale

Old school method. Works like a charm. I made $400 on my first independent garage sale and I was pretty confident my stuff wasn't worth much. The advantage is you can sell what you want, without limitations. The only disadvantage is everyone wants to haggle you down. I would sell my clothes and CDs at a garage sale but not my big electronics. Also most cities require a garage sale permit. They are about $5 and you can get them at your local town hall.  Chris' advice would be to "make sure you advertise a lot. If you can, it's a good idea to piggy back off of a neighborhood or church garage sale. This is great if you have an an apartment and no yard to sell your stuff." You can even piggy back on Craigslist and post your garage sale in the "garage sale" section.

While an added advantage of garage sales is that you make your own hours, try to be open early. Many people who go to garage sales go on a constant basis. If you have real gold and silver jewelry, mention it in your ad. Warning: People looking for gold and silver WILL show up at your place up to an hour before the garage sale. They can be vicious so either be ready to give them what they want or be firm enough to tell them that the sale starts 9am sharp. Pushover advice: It's not your problem that they came early. You wrote the time on the ad (you did, right?). A few years back my friend and I had a garage sale. People showed up way too early and wouldn't back off. My friend's mom had to put cones up and shoot them evil mom looks. Her evil mom looks can scare a grizzly.

Flea Markets

Mary of Mary's Markdown Mercantile and Ray of Ray of Sunshine Markets
in the Dusted Attic, West Bottoms, Kansas City

Same as a garage sale but sometimes the vendor fee is more. The advantage here is that you don't have to do any advertising and you get more traffic. The disadvantage is competition. The other disadvantage is that that there may be a restriction as to what you can and can't sell. So make sure you ask if they have a "do not sell" list before you pay that vending fee. If you can sell clothes, great! If not, I recommend small household appliances, decorations, jewelry and small electronics. In terms of vendor fees, assess whether the fee will be worth it. It may be a flat fee for a certain amount of space or a percentage of everything you sell. The last thing you want to do is spend all that time packing, selling, driving just to break even. If you don't have a lot of stuff but you want the traffic, team up with a friend or a current vendor who sells items that are similar to yours. Next to garage sales, this actually is becoming my favorite way.

Consignment Shops

 If you have an eye for name brand fashion than this is your best hope. Sometimes they purchase your items right off the bat. Sometimes they don't send you a check until it sells. The disadvantage is that they don't take non-name brand clothing unless it's super vintage. "Make sure the shop has proper security." says Chris P. "The last thing you want to is to lose your money due to theft."

Personally, I never buy name brand unless it just happens to be cute and at a thrift store. And usually I don't notice the brand until after I take it home. My other source of name brand clothing comes from my aunts' hand-me-downs (which are amazing and I usually want to keep them forEVER). Other than that, I pretty much shop at Forever 21 or places similar. If you shop like me, it will be very difficult to get rid of your clothing. Especially, with the increase of donation-based, thrift shops.

Because of my clothing situation, I tried this app:

Wallapop

It's a garage sale/ trade app. I think it's great for posting several individual items. You have individual pictures and the app itself is pretty easy. Instead of just selling you can trade for things as well. I've used it but it's not yet popular in Kansas City so it didn't do much for me. There are commercials and they have it in the UK and France so I'm sure everyone will be talking about it in the next year or so. My only qualm with it is that it's only an app. Not a website. I have large fingers and typing a description on my phone isn't very fun. Personally, it's easier to do things on my computer. The other dilemma is that there is a limit to how many items you can put up. I would likely consider it good for trading whilst on the road but I think I'll have to wait until it becomes more popular before it becomes useful. Until then, I'll stick with the flea market.

Here's some more advice on how to sell your stuff by Chris P.

About clothing

"People usually buy clothing online if it is something they need immediately or for a specific event. For example a party or holiday."

About electronics

"Wipe all of your info off if it's got a hard drive. Make sure you can sell a working product otherwise it'll come back to bite you. [In terms of traveling] Expensive electronics are better to sell rather than potentially have them stolen from you. Always remember that electronics have depreciating value, so sell them as soon as you can."

About appliances

"Offer delivery if you have the means. Not everyone has a car but needs the product. You can even offer $20 more to install the product. Clean everything. Offer a small week long warranty. That'll make people feel comfortable about buying it."

Home products

"Craigslist is the best place to sell them when selling online. When you post on craigslist make sure you add an accurate description and make sure you use good keywords so that the item is more likely to pop up in a search."

About selling in general

"When it comes to selling your possessions, it can be an issue having an emotional tie to them. You're not going to get what you paid most of the time because you've used it. You have to come to terms with yourself and why you're getting rid of it."

"Use pawnshops as a last resort because they don't give you what it would sell for."

"Meet people in a public place like a library where they can test the product."

"Take what you can today because people may not want your stuff tomorrow. People lose interest. Realize that there might not be that next offer."

-O.T.

The Essence of a Person

"You still work at that place?" the bus driver asked as I climbed aboard the 35 going home in Kansas City. "Yeah, it's that bed and breakfast down on 46th. I'll be moving soon, though." As the words left me I felt a twinge of sadness at the potential loss of my usual bus driver. I have a strange relationship with bus drivers. On the rare occasion that my schedule becomes routine I manage to enjoy the presence of a few of them. This particular woman is fun because she's always in a rush and I never see her at the same time. It's almost as if she's driving the bus just for me. Even in the morning the Max driver has begun to greet me with a knowing smile. Though with all the layers I have on I doubt he actually knows what my face looks like. One of my favorite drivers was the man who drove me from my farm apprenticeship to my store front apartment (where I'd quickly wash all the straw and chicken shit off of me and then bike in my booty shorts and heavy eyeliner to my serving job in KC's version of New York  -Power and Light District).

He picked me up without judgement. He was a quiet man. He was a light-skinned, lean man with a full, white, santa beard (sideburns and all) and bald head. I could never identify his race. Bold round facial features on his long face and fair skin always had me in a tizzy trying to figure it out.

I hadn't thought of him in a while but the kindness of the 35 bus driver brought forth my memories. He reminded me of a man I used to work with. Similar build, Santa beard and always smiling. I remember looking forward to seeing him at my not-so-fabulous job selling shoes at Sears. Everyone loved him. His energy. His conversation. He was an oasis in my corporate, commission/ no base pay desert. I used to think of him as my crazy uncle. He made the place feel like family. Then one day he announced he was leaving. He had cancer.

Everyone grieved his absence. The place wasn't the same.

The strange thing is while I think I may have an idea, I don't remember his name. How could I not remember his name? He clearly made an impact on my life. Then I thought about it some more. I don't remember his name. But I remember him. Who he was as a person (at least while working at Sears). Names are common. We share them with others. But we as people are unique. We have a soul. An essence. A gestalt -if you will. His essence was comfort and peace.

Much like the the bus driver's. He picked me up without judgement. I would wait for the bus on the corner of Blue Parkway and Eastwood (apparently a big meth area) with my dirt stained overalls, moldy chicken shit smells, taped up shoes and buckwheat hair. As I sat on the ground on the side of the parkway, people would stop and offer me money. At some point a guy offered me a slice of pizza. It took me a few hours to figure out why. I walked into Burger King famished and upon ordering some fries, the person looked me dead in the eye and said "you are wearing shoes, aren't you?" Took me a while to figure that one out, too. The bus driver on the other hand didn't pass me by. He didn't turn his nose up at me. He didn't shoot me dirty looks. One time, he even waited for me at the bus stop while I crossed the impossible Blue Parkway. He was wonderful and I loved him (as much as a human can love a complete stranger). We struck up a conversation at some point where I [finally] explained that I was working at an urban farm down the street. A few weeks later he told me he was transferring bus lines. I baked him cookies with some strawberries I got from the farm. The next day the new bus driver drove right past me.

Sometimes our smallest interactions will lead to a legacy we could never anticipate. We toil and struggle so that people remember our names but perhaps we should make it that they remember our essence.

-O.T.

Heading to Kansas City (The Long Way)

Hi guys! So I'm planning a road trip and I want your two cents!  Missouri isn't too far from New Jersey but I figured while I have the time I might as well make some stops. I'll be heading the long way back to KC so if you know any great places I should stop, comment below, and I may add it to my itinerary.

Heading Home! (The Long Way...)
West Orange, NJ - Kansas City, MO
August 2016

West Orange Trip on Roadtrippers

-O.T.

The Mentality of Selling Your Possessions

Maui, Hawaii: I actually packed too much.

How can you just get rid of all of your stuff like that?

I'm asked that question constantly. The answer is: because that's just what it is. Stuff. I find one of the bigger travel inhibitors (outside of children and relationships) is stuff. It's quite amazing actually. We as a species started out with nothing but the clothes (plants?) on our back and a few tools for obtaining food and a cave as a home. Then we started building huts and beds to keep ourselves minimally comfortable. We were mostly a nomadic species, hitching up our tents and yurts and heading wherever good weather or food was. With those motivations (and getting away from our crazy family) we spread across the planet.

Fast forward 2015...16. Most of the terrestrial Earth has been explored. We've settled. We can easily access our own food. Heck we can change our own weather in the form of heating and AC. We don't like someone? Forget crossing the mountain, we just put up fences. Problem solved. We became too comfortable. Stagnant. We pride ourselves in our permanence. We pride ourselves in our stuff. In fact, what have houses become but shelters not only for ourselves but our stuff. The more stuff you have, the bigger the house you need to accommodate it. Or sometimes vice versa. Do we really need two to three living spaces? Do we need to change our perfectly good furniture every year? According to LA Times, the average American has 300,000 items in their home. NPR wrote that the size of the American home tripled in the past 50 years.

No matter where I live, my room is still messy.

We all fall victim to what society tells us. We need more stuff. You have to update your electronics every year. Your car isn't cool anymore, you need this one instead. It's a never ending cycle.

Before you go longterm traveling, I find it best to adapt an ¡Olvidalo! spirit and free yourself of what can and will hold you back. You could definitely put your stuff in storage but then you are stuck with paying $50-$500 per month holding on to things you aren't even using. That $50-$500 could go towards an extra month or two of rent in a foreign country. It could drive you across the US. It could go toward four months of food. It can get you a month of partying; or even a entire cup of coffee at Starbucks ^_~. Before you leave for your travels take each individual item and think "what would I lose by keeping this? Or what would be gained from losing it?" I've sold most of my possessions three times. The only thing I've regretted selling were my CDs; and even then, I could just get them again.

When you've whittled down your stuff to what you need, don't think about it for a while. A week later look at the stuff again and follow the same process. "What would I lose by keeping this? Or what would be gained from losing it?" If you can, get your possessions down to one large box and leave it with your family or friends. While the ¡Olvidalo! spirit calls for adapting a new mentality and forgetting the unimportant things, you must seek remember the important things. I've lived a lot of different places, had a lot of roommates and met a lot of people. After a while it becomes a bit difficult to keep track of it all. I always recommend keeping pictures and tokens of the past or a memorable moment or trip and keeping them in the box. Even now when I look at them I am reminded about how fast life is and how easy it is to forget what's important or how some person made you feel.

Traveling -especially if you've never traveled outside of the vacation context- changes you. Without fail, you will come out of it a different person than you went in. Most times those things you've held on to don't seem so important any more. Sometimes they aren't important to anyone else, either. You could hold on to your electronics but by the time you get back they will be obsolete and unsellable. Those heels are way cute but when you've walked halfway through Germany in a pair of Toms carrying a backpack the size of your whole body, the urge to walk on stilts doesn't seem appealing anymore. That super amazing high pressure 15 setting, light up showerhead felt great but after having to bathe in a cold-ass river in October for a few days  you will be grateful for any warm water at any pressure.  Either way, that money would be better spent in your pocket than towards stuff in a storage unit, collecting dust.

For more facts about "stuff" check out 21 Surprising Statistics That Reveal How Much Stuff We Actually Own.

-O.T.

How To Shop Organic For About $50 A Week (Two Week Series)...Fail Moment

Sadly, I started my $50 a week organic food campaign but I lost my phone so all my pictures are gone. So I'll have to continue this particular segment after I buy a new phone (and real camera) in a couple of weeks.

Until then, this segment will be "to be continued" and I'll be updating on other subjects.

Have a good week!

-O.T.

How To Shop Organic For About $50 A Week (Two Week Series)

Situation every time a particular person comes over my place:

"You don't have any food."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."::proceeds to order takeout::

 Next day Olvida makes tomato lentil soup, caramelized plantains, biscuits and mini apple pie with same food she apparently didn't have.

Food. The natural bringer of energy, nutrition and good times. According to Gallup, a relatively recent poll taken found that Americans spend $151 a week on food.  That's $604, a month (almost my rent). $7,248 a year (a decent used car). 

What. The. Hell. 

Honestly, I was thoroughly convinced the number couldn't be accurate. Especially, since I had just come from the grocery store and spent less than $100 on enough organic food to last me two weeks. I mean what are these people doing, cashing in on the biscuits and gravy at Golden Corral? Are they trying to earn more Dominoes rewards points (yes America you are rewarded for eating pizza)? Honestly, in terms of how much of that "food" was actually takeout, the survey doesn't say much outside of the statement "large majority report that they ate at home rather than at restaurants 'last night". So the question is: why are Americans spending so much on food? Take out? Laziness? Time? Lack of knowledge? 

With that, I've been inspired to share a little bit of my knowledge about food for the next couple of weeks. Here is my theory. Now-a-days, food is not many people's priority. For many people, food has no other purpose than getting rid of that annoying feeling coming from our stomachs. We make excuses like "I don't have time," and then sit down and watch a Scandal marathon or hit up Facebook. We buy pre-prepped food Choc-Full-O-Preservatives and tell ourselves it's better than takeout. We buy takeout because we think we can't cook. Or sometimes we only like to cook when people are around.

Or if you're like me you're a dirty, lazy bastard. You hate doing dishes, even though you have a dishwasher (my prime excuse for not cooking). You dump all your freshly laundered clothing on your bed and leave it there.  Or the floor. For a week. And then you pick your outfits from the pile of clean (?) clothing until the next laundry day...or when you have a guest...and then you stuff the rest in the closet. 

If you're not like me, congratulations. You are likely a functional member of society.

 All of these mindsets are a shame because -speaking from experience- your diet alone can make or break your health.

 I've always been interested in food and have worked in different aspects of the food industry since I was 16. This is the knowledge I've garnered from observing the average single, non foodie:

Schedule: We wake up. buy coffee, tea, or soda. Don't eat breakfast or grab a bagel (NY), or donut/ food truck food (LA). Eat lunch out (or sometimes forget to eat lunch). We head home; we are tired but starving. We purchase takeout, pre-prepped meal, eat a "just add meat or vegetables" meal or grab takeout. 

It's no wonder folks are broke.

The next two weeks are for the above people. I will show you how to not only shop well but how to eat pretty darn decent using all organic ingredients for about $50 per week. Proper food shopping isn't just crunching numbers to see what you can get the cheapest. It's strategy. While I've worked in the food business, I'm not a chef...okay I was a pastry chef but cooking food is COMPLETELY different from baking. What little cooking skills I have were acquired from watching my chefs, my grandmother, Food Network's "Chopped" and doing lots of experiments. In short, I'm a lot like you guys...minus the laundry. So check in tomorrow to see what inexpensive, easy, fast, organic nom noms I have cooking up! But if you eat it, you're doing the doing the dishes.

I still find the number hard to beliebve. What are all you guys spending per month or week on groceries?

-O.T.

The Fear Of Traveling

Small Fish in a Big Pond

So after a great deal of thinking and research I've decided to buy a minivan, outfit it for living and road trip indefinitely around North America. When I was younger, my urge to see the US died sometime around elementary school (when we were no longer doing oral reports about each state). I mean New Jersey couldn't be THAT different from the rest of the states, right? And even if it was, who wants to hang out with country bumpkins?

That was the subconscious mentality of my youth for the longest time. One could be outraged by my ignorance but I'm pretty sure a great deal of the tri-state area thinks that there isn't anything worth a look between Philly and Cali...except maybe Denver and Chicago.

Shamefully, I escaped that mentality fairly late in life; I'd say the moment I came to Kansas City about a year a half ago. Even now I find it amazing that such a gem exists smack dab in the middle of the country. So with my teensy perspective once again shattered by travel, I am inspired to see more of the US. As The Great Curiosity that inspired my penchant for adventure tales such as "Fievel Goes West", "Tall Tale" and "On My Honor" takes over, I now begin to feel a bit of that fire rising in my gut.

Unfortunately, something else rose in my gut. At first it was a steady rational voice in the back of my head reminding me of the overwhelming lessons I had learned while backpacking in France and Maui. "You still suck at saving and traveling with no money is stressful.", "won't you get lonely from being alone for so long?", "You've finally started to make good friends and there are more people who want to be your friends, here. It took you so long to make them, what if you never get this chance again?" These are the biggest fears I have. But to counter these fears I have a few more. "You can't work another normal job again. No matter what you do you'll be miserable working for someone in the long term.", "You'll miss some important moment with your family because you HAVE to go to work.", "If you stay in the conventional work force you WILL go nuts.", "You're always the person you want to be when you are traveling."

The anti-travel fears started as a small voice until I watched a certain movie. "Into the Wild" is based on the true story of Christopher McCandless, a youngin' well-versed in Thoreau, Walden and other heroes of the transcendentalist movement. After graduating college he leaves his broken family -without a word- to travel around the US mostly via hitchhiking. Later he is inspired to rough it in the wilds of Alaska. (Spoiler Alert) After successfully surviving a season and getting lonely he decides it is time to move on. But to his misfortune, he is trapped where he is when the river he originally crossed by foot turns into full fledged rapids. After the wild game disappear, he attempts to eat plants. Unfortunately, he mixes up an edible plant with a poisonous plant, suffers paralysis and starvation then dies. The director did an excellent job of traumatizing me with McCandless' last week or so of life. But throughout all of that, the thing that resonated with me the most was the lesson I had learned in France.  In his last dying days McCandless' wrote in the margins of one his books "Happiness real when shared".

I've never met this man. We will never meet. And yet he found out what I found out. I don't plan on roughing it in Alaska (I hate the cold, honestly) or hitching myself up in an abandoned bus, hunting animals with little to no experience. I know that I will meet people on the road and I have the added advantage of being able to speak the language but I wonder if I leave Kansas City at 29 years old (going on 30) and travel around and end up who knows where (Mexico? Asia?) will I have thrown away my final chances of having a deep face-to-face relationship with another human being? When I am finally ready to settle down will everyone my age be married and babied with no time for socializing with anyone except with other couples? Will the adult cliques be formed with neon "no vacancy" signs flashing for those they didn't go to high school or college with? I know it's easy to think that I am being dramatic but I see the consequences of my travels not only in my life but some of my friends' lives. People get significant others and disappear. Parents are too tired to hold a conversation. Newbies are interesting for five seconds and then townies move on to the next new thing. It's all very real and right in our faces.

So after reflecting on it, I've managed to restrain these thoughts to a loud voice in my head rather than an infection of my whole being. But it's still there. The mental comforts I have are few but somehow they are working. I think about how God will take care of me if I focus on Him. I think about being able to see my family when I want. I think about all the ways my eyes will be opened beyond my feeble imagination. I think about the more loving, tolerant person I will become by traveling and somehow it keeps me going.


-O.T.

3 Folks Doing Crazy Sh*t For Travel

Pic from Askmen.com

She looks over the grand ravine winding into the horizon. A cool breeze pushes past her sunburned face. She whispers a thanks to God for this small token of mercy. Her skin is burned, her hair is a kinky mess, her feet are swollen and from what it feels like, that damn blister on the back of her ankle has finally busted. She's been eating canned food and crackers for days. She ran out of money about a week ago. Her family worries for her safety traveling alone. "What?! You travel alone? Aren't you scared?" she recalls the strangers on her journey who pry for answers. "So why are you here exactly?" She laughs to herself as she remembers the immigration woman questioning her.

Why not?

 She's come too far to stop, now. She's been "bitten by the travel bug" as they say. She picks up her life in the form of a giant, over-stuffed backpack and makes her way toward the falling sun. 

Whether it's selling all your possessions and hitting the road, moving for the 16th time or going on your fifth vacation in three years, you know you've felt it. It's an infection sparked by the curiosity of the human spirit. We ask ourselves questions like: Can I go farther? What's over there? What are those people like? 

And while "normal" more "stable" people look at you lopsided you know that what you're doing makes total sense in your head...maybe...at minimum it feels right. Why do we do what we do? Why do we leave our loved ones and comforts of home to see the big wide world? How many of us really know? Here are some folks doing crazy sh*t for the sake of who knows what...

Who Wants To Go For A Walk?

Pic from Refuga.com

Former British Paratrooper, Karl Bushby hit traveling "G" status after one day deciding to  walk around the world. Yep, walk. Around the world. I've witnessed a coworker drive across the street from his job to the local bodega to get a sandwich and this dude is walking around the globe.  In 1998, he started from Punta Arenas, Chile and planned to walk the 36,000(+) mile trip to his home Hull, England. He estimated he'd get home around 2012. But like all epic adventures, there was hiccup. After trekking the Bering Strait -on foot- with adventure badass Dimitri Kiefer (did I mention a good deal of the Bering Strait is melted?) he victoriously knocked on Russia's door...and was handed a five year ban from the country. Determined to continue on, he went on a second walking adventure. Anyway, I won't give it all away. 

Lemonade, Anyone?

Pic from Vimeo

Traveler, author, TV guy and now Lonely Planet Pathfinder Aric S. Queen decided to slip out of main stream media and pursue a humble life of single-handedly circumnavigating the globe via a  refurbished boat while selling lemonade. I mean who doesn't love lemonade? Terrorists, that's who. The problem is that his knowledge of boats may have been a bit subpar for buying one and now he's stuck in North Carolina with not much but fundraisers and Lonely Planet to help him fix his wreck of a boat. Why is he still trying? Why not just scrap the whole thing, sell the boat for parts and cash in on his travel celebrity status to get a professionally edited Bourdain-style travel show? Check out  Maritime Lemonade Stand.

Solo Female Hitchhiker's Guide To Earth

Pic from http://tomislavperko.com/

If you were born into a "normal" US middle class family like me you were taught a few things. Look both ways before crossing the street, don't take candy from strangers (except on Halloween?) and don't get into cars with strangers. While hitchhiking was more popular in the US in the 60s, the activity is currently frowned upon by most Americans. Even in Europe the thought of a young woman, hitchhiking alone brings about a certain stigma. Despite all of that, Ana Bakran has been hitchhiking alone across Europe, Asia and the Middle East. She even offers no holds barred advice, which is exactly what travelers need to hear. I mean how many people will tell you that while you travel "People will show you their penises"?  Check out her advice here.

-O.T.

First World Problems

Hope is a strange thing. We Americans (and busybodies of all nations and ethnicities) constantly sweat the small stuff. We sweat it so much that we even make fun of our superficial problems with hashtags like #firstworldproblems and #fml.  I could pretend like I'm above all these things but let's be real; I get horribly upset if the person I like rejects me. I get all whiny when I can't go out with my friends because I spent my money on take-out because I was too lazy to cook. I am typically distressed over room mates, employers and most authority figures (because sometimes it feels like everyone has authority over my life, except me).  I freak out if every inch of my body isn't covered in lotion within five minutes of exiting the shower. And it has to be the good stuff, too. Don't give me that dollar store crap. I need that Eucerin or Jergens The stuff that can lubricate cars for years. These are my "problems".

The funny thing about First World Problems is that we make them ourselves.

I mean whose fault is it that you don't have any money to pay that bill after partying? Whose fault is it that your friend or significant other got pissed at you because you got trashed and said something stupid? Whose fault is it that you're in jail because you didn't feel like paying for that new iPhone 4684SQ 2.0 (no that's not a thing)? It's yours. And while we scamper about like bunnies lamenting over our insignificant problems there are people with very real life or death problems. And while we feel hopeless because we didn't get our dream job or school or we have shitty luck with finding a mate or no one likes us, those who are in desperate situations are completely capable of finding real hope in the future.

When I witness situations like these, it calls me to re-evaluate my life. My priorities. My "problems". Yes, sometimes it is difficult to compare each person's problems, much like it is to compare one's physical pain to another; but we have to stop and ask ourselves: What problems can I fix with a little more effort and a little less whining? Just as important: What problems can't be fixed? What is outside of my control? Would all the fuss and hoo-haw and effort even change the outcome? If not, perhaps it would serve me better to take a deep breath, thank God I am alive (because you only get one life) roll up my sleeves and then rebuild.


-O.T.

Onward...

Well, I've picked a plan. I think it's a good plan. It's a humble plan that I'm sure I can handle mentally. The problem is that I can't bring myself to tell all but one person exactly what it is. If I do, I know I will be rejected. Marked off as nuts or pitiful. The thing is, I don't think it's pitiful. It's just a lifestyle choice. There are so many ways to live in this world and I don't think any of them are bad. Every life style is suited for a different person. Whether someone lives in an earthbag home or a mansion, RV or their car it all serves a purpose.

I look back now and think, how did I become so shaped by society's biases and approvals. It seems we are destined to be shaped by them but it is our job as adults to break out of it.

I'll try my best not to romanticize this lifestyle. It'll be hard. People will worry. But end result -I think- will be amazing. As I prepare for it I'll just keep my head down and hope it turns out well.

-O.T.

Re-re-re-restart

I haven't written on this for a while but as of late I've only written on it when I'm wanting to change my life. So here I go again doing my quarterly life evaluation...

While living in LA I had a lot of issues. Funny enough, those issues taught me a lot about what I want and I don't want in life. One of them being roommates. I love people. People are great. But I find that no matter how open-minded a person thinks they are when you go into their space they are the the T-cell and you are the virus (conscious or subconscious). So I gave up all prospects of roommating and got me a studio after heading to Kansas City. One of the few things I did right in this world.

I also learned that I want to be around nature AND the city all at once. Don't ask me how this works but somehow I will make it work. I love cities and crowds and all that stinky, overly romanticized stuff. NY, LA, Paris, KCMO (though I call KC a big town since the place has a ridiculous amount of townies); I love the benefits of having stores and multiple bars and clubs within a short distance. I love that I can go somewhere and be a stranger and there isn't the drama of what so-and-so said back in high school or at work or at the last event.

And finally (but not quite lastly) I've learned that I hate paying rent and having a full time job. I dove into the workforce fairly young for my generation. My high school (go Montclair!) required a certain amount of hours of community service before I could graduate. They even had a Youth Employment Service (YES) office. Consequently, I decided to surround myself with my love of books at the public library when I was 13. I volunteered there for a while and then I got a job as a camp counselor for a Christian camp at 15. After that I worked as a short order cook at a tex-mex place (before Chipotle sucked up the world) at 17 and the rest is "futury". Since the moment I signed my soul away with that tex-mex job application I unwittingly put myself on the conveyor belt to mental hell.  The hamster wheel ominously creaked as it powered to life via my own kinetic energy. Funny enough, I enjoyed it at first. Just going and going and learning and learning like a giant furry sponge. But then one day I found myself completely overworked, bitter, financially broke and looking for a way to stop the wheel. In hindsight, I think my urge to cut ties and stay in Europe was a desperate cry for help.

So I left for Europe. And four months later when I came back to the U.S. and got a job in L.A. I enjoyed the little moments with friends and strangers but I stepped on the that wheel again. Why? Because all rural the skills I learned in France weren't going to be useful for living with my uncle and his girlfriend in a small apartment in Sherman Oaks. So I hopped on and I ran and ran and ran. I even fooled myself for a while thinking I'd move up in the company and be successful and etc. etc.

This is a note I wrote to myself while living in L.A. I found it in one of my note books fairly recently. I put it on my wall so I'll remember:


"Who do I want to be?

I'm a 27 year old. I owe everyone money. I sublet Misty's place. Most of my clothes don't match. I have $60 that will come out of my account to pay a phone bill. So I have nothing. I haven't been to the doctor in forever. I have crooked glasses, talk a lot and no prospects of a boyfriend. Pedestrian.

I want to have an emergency fund. I want to be an active member of a church community. I want to be classy and dignified. I want to think b4 I speak. A nice (though small) wardrobe. I want a license and a vehicle (moped cool)."

In short. I was unhappy with myself. I wanted to change. But what kind of change would make me happy? Based off the few leads I had about what makes me happy I sold my stuff (again) and left for a farming apprenticeship in Osceola, Missouri and then got booted off to an urban farm in Kansas City, MO. So this is what I learned about what I want and don't want while living 'round these parts:

Many times working for people is much like having a roommate. Except you actually VOLUNTEER to be used.

Unless you have none or hate your family, working at jobs that requires you to work on all holidays is foolish.

Rent is stupid, subjective and varies pretty much all over the country while wage sometimes remains the same.

Being married, with kids, living in a house isn't always an option. And sometimes it's not even the better option. Working one full time job with salary isn't always the best option, either. Everyone will have their own dream and what the "American Dream" is shouldn't get in the way of that. I mean look at Carrie Bradshaw. =op

So....that's where I'm at right now. The question I've been asking myself as of late is "Why?" Why do I need ONE job in ONE field working a billion hours a week? Why can't I do a bunch of things that are fun and keep me interested, that I can do where ever I go on the planet and enjoy life and see my family  whenever I want? I think one of the biggest problems society has is that it puts restrictions on itself for the sake of expectations and safety. Why do we have to have ONE place to live? Why do we HAVE to go to school? Why do I HAVE to have a whole lotta money? Why do we HAVE to wait until we are old incapable farts to retire? Why do we HAVE to buy my food from the grocery store?  Why do I HAVE to buy something with credit? The answer is...we don't. We just do it because we were raised to believe it would give us happiness. Even as kids we were raised not to question, I'm sure even the most "free-thinking" parents have used something similar "because I said so".

I'm a firm believer in evolution (for all you ig'nant people out there, yes a LOT of Christians believe in evolution). And we can't evolve unless we doing crazy things (Seal, anyone?). So here I am on the precipice of something with a million choices...so what do I do?

-O.T.

Apartment Hunter's Guide to Interpreting Craigslist

From Indianapolis to Europe, I've lived a LOT of places. I've seen a lot of people and a lot of things and after all this time, not much surprises me. Finding a new place can be ridiculously stressful. Who am I going to end up with? Are they going to be psycho murders? Will they be obnoxious partying potheads? Will they come in my room to start vacuuming at six in the morning? Despite all these questions consistently pounding on the side of my skull whenever I pack up my bags -or in this case, bag, tent and sleeping bag- I find one aspect of moving to be highly entertaining, and that's the classifieds. In my search for a place, I've noticed an interesting pattern that I feel most people (especially all of you new apartment hunters) should  know about. With that, I give you The Apartment Hunter's Guide to Interpreting Craigslist!

Everyone in the world of apartments wants/ needs your money; hence they are caught between telling the absolute truth and making their place sound like the road to enlightenment. Why are they stuck in the middle? Well, landlords and potential roommates don't feel like wasting their time with a lot of foot traffic and appointments when they know damn well a successful CEO isn't going to want anything to do with a room with bunk beds. At the same time they don't want to admit that their place is a dump either. They have a lot of other ads to compete with; consequently, landlords dust off their diction and dive into the world of copy writing. Ads are littered with words dancing around the actuality that you either really can't afford this place or you are likely to be shot upon entrance. Here are some phrases to look out for:

"Beneficial Housing Arrangement"
Nice diction here. Watch out for this one ladies (and in some cases, gentlemen). Also disguised as "free apartment" this one is usually a request for a lovely younger lady to live with an older, lonely, not so lovely man in exchange for...something. If you're lucky, maybe 1 time out of 10 it's a family asking you to be their nanny or personal assistant (though they tend to make it less suspicious sounding). One thing's for sure, if there's no such thing as a free lunch, there's no such thing as a free apartment.

"Great for students!"
I fell victim to this once. It's probably the trickiest wording I've encountered, but I believe I've decoded it.
9 times out of 10 this usually means you will be sharing your place with two or more people. It also means the place is pretty small and sometimes a complete hole in the wall (almost literally) with, very likely, no kitchen. If you live in the Los Angeles area, it can also mean you essentially will be staying in a hostel or dorm. You know the deal; bunk beds, furnishings, maybe roaches and all the fixings.

Also look for the word "Travelers".

"Professionals"
Fabulous word. You want this word. As I mentioned. There are standards involved in the place. It usually means the people there are towards the end of their college career or have a job. This usually involves the age range of 23ish to 32ish.

Note: Another interesting thing I've noticed is that when you pair the word "professionals" with "students", you get a good combo. It means there are standards but the roommates aren't too "mature" for you. The best place I found was a four bedroom top half of a duplex with the best room mates, an awesome kitchen, a living room, dining room and back yard.

"Artist Space"
As an artist, this one is my favorite. Usually means no kitchen, no furnishing, no heat, probably no walls. The only real bonus is that it's usually a big space. Great for skating.

See above "Great for Students!"

"Cozy"
Small as hell.

"Cool People"
Tricky one. Usually what it says it is but it depends what your definition of cool is. It usually ranges from hipsters to potheads.

"Incredible"
Incredible. Usually people don't use that word unless it's genuinely incredible. But make sure the price matches the word. If it sounds too good to be true. It is.

Now that you've found out what to look out for, you have to know what a roomie or landlord looks for in you. First impressions are very important so when sending your initial e-mail, tell a little bit about yourself. Not a novel, just four or five sentences. Be sure to mention your name, your job and an interesting fact.  Especially if it would benefit the new roomies. If you're a baker, like to brew beer or work for Gucci, say so. People like potential perks. Leave your pet peeves and drama out of the e-mail. Not many people will take you in if the reason you are moving is because you painted your boyfriend's Harley pink in anger and now he's out to kill you...just sayin'. Show interest in the space and the people, show that you can mesh with them well but don't become over-excited. One ex-roommate of mine was thrown off by, not only one woman's over-excitement about the place, but the fact that she e-mailed him a picture of her plant. Yep. A plant.

Lastly, SPELLCHECK! I commented on how my previous landlord managed to continuously pick four random people off of Craigslist who got along 95 percent of the time. I asked him how he did it. He said he starts by checking their sanity via spelling and then a quick phone call. It sounds crazy but when you think about it...it works? The willingness to spell correctly and formulate decent sentences indicates that you are taking getting a place seriously. So remember, no slang. No computer colloquialisms. Keep it mature but fun, folks.

So that's pretty much it. If you'd like to share any advice I've missed,  feel free to post a comment!

****

And for your further entertainment...A few ads I found entertaining:

$875 Looking for another Gay Male Nudist for Roommate (West Hollywood/Hollywood)

Seeking another Gay Male Nudist roommate with no barriers living.

2-bedroom--2 Bathrooms with balcony to share

-Parking -WiFi- Laundry in Bldg--Included

Be small dog friendly

I'm in 40's Slim easygoing.

****
(I had to cut out a lot of this because it was about 3 pages long)

FUNKY (FUN) GAY GUY/FUNKY PLACE - SMOKER

I am searching for the most Unique person (male or female, gay, bi or
straight) to share the most Unique living situation. Includes
utilities, and minimal Cable. It's in the heart of Echo Park, so this
is your chance to be a Nouveau Hipster!

YOU MUST:
- smoke (or be extremely OK with a smoker environment).
- be a night owl (or be totally cool and able to function with one in
the household).
- be very sexually enlightened and OK with my frequent sexing, or
sexual yourself in similar ways.
- be OK with the tight quarters involved and sometimes-discombobulated
living room.
- be OK with a cool Kitty in the mix.
- be financially stable (I don't believe in credit checks on roomies,
so not that); simply seeking someone who can afford it and isn't
constantly broke.

I AM:
- a 40+ permanently-single gay guy; I sex a lot -- often here.
- I smoke cigs and love it. This is a smoking environment. I am a very
clean smoker.
- I drink copious amounts of beer, but am hardly ever inebriated (it's
the German blood). I am an occasional dabbler in 420, and that tends
to be it; I rarely, but once in a blue moon, will indulge in other
things; and I avoid Meth-heads like the Plague.

*****

$850 * * * P R I V A T E * * * LOFT BDRM - avail D E C 21st / J A N U A R Y (Midtown East)

APARTMENT 23 is in need of a NEW addition to our apt........ YOU!!


POP QUIZ
Are you a good person?? Are you wanted by any law enforcement agencies?? Are you able to share your toys and play with others?? Do you believe in life on other planets?? Are you one of those RARE & SPECIAL individuals who have a hard time SEEING DIRT?? How many casual sex partners do you plan on having in your bedroom on a weekly basis?? Do you believe that you need to stockpile guns for a future uprising?
answers: 1. all depends on whose value system you're using?? 2. depends on what agency exactly 3. yes, I always share my toys INSIDE of others 4. which planet? 5. i LIVE for dirt 6. if i blindfold them and they don't know where we live, it shouldn't matter?? 7. i am NOT a republican and i don't live in florida!!

*****

-T.